Wednesday, December 30, 2009

There is a God

I have been wanting to post about Christmas. Because it was so very special this year. But it will have to wait until next week or so when I can include some pictures. :)
As for now, I just want to share some thoughts.

Jerry and I went to Big Piney yesterday to visit my Grandma and Grandpa. Last week something told me that I really needed to go see them, so I scheduled a day off and we went.

They are doing good. My grandma made a delicious lunch. We talked and talked and talked. She made me laugh, that Grandma of mine, she is just so....perfect. My Aunt Amy was there, she has down syndrome, but none the less she is perfectly, happy and content. She could really lift anyones' spirit. I just love her!

We finished off the night having dinner at my uncle John's. We watched a movie that my cousin Seth made, played some Wii bowling, and chatted with my aunt Kim!

It was such a good time, and I am so so glad that we went.

While we were driving home the song 'There is a God' by Lee Ann Womack came on, and it really got me thinking.

As I grew up, I always knew there was a God, mostly because my parents told me so. I went to CCD Sunday school classes at Church, and I learned more and more about God. I memorized prayers and read the bible, and I still do to this day. But more than ever I am seeing God through my life, through my experiences.

There is a part of the song that goes like this,

Stop and think about what you don't understand. Things like life and love and how the world began. Hear the doctor say he can't explain it. But the cancer is gone.

I have often thought about how the world began. I have thought many times about how we were given the chance to live on earth. And the only way to possibly explain it is through, God. It is amazing the love and compassion we can feel for one another. It is unbelievable how miracles happen. We have one crisis after another, and still everything is okay. We can pray and lives can be changed. Some ignore God, and lives are changed in that way too.

I have no doubt in my mind that there is a God.

Call it my testimony.

Call it my belief.

Call it whatever you may like, I just hope God is found in your life too.

There was a rainbow over my house on the day of my mom's funeral.

My Grandma and Aunt Roberta also saw a rainbow on their way home from the funeral.

I couldn't ask for anymore proof that my mom met Jesus at the gates of Heaven on November 10, 2008.

I know a few people who are so filled with the Holy Spirit that you can feel it just being around them.

My Grandma Helena and Grandpa Bob never miss a day of Church. They recite the Rosary while in the car to insure their safety. They pray all.the.time. They are living a life through God, and I have no doubt their lives are very fulfilling. They are such special people.

Another person is my God Mother, Debbie. She is the prettiest, most sincere, sensitive person I know. She has the softest, truest voice. Someday I hope to be just like her. :)

This year as my New Year's resolution, I want to make sure I go to church every Sunday. I come up with excuses like being tired, having too many things to do and things like that. But those are lousy excuses, I know.

I want to become a better person.

I know there is a God.

On that note, I have prayer request.

Jerry's Grandma was diagnosed with Kidney Disease in early 2009. She has been going through Dialysis. She found a kidney donor, but soon after they found a blood clot in her leg. Before the transplant could be done, the blood clot needed to be cleared up. The blood clot cleared up and January 5th was the date set for her the receive her new kidney. For whatever reason a few weeks ago we found out that the man who agreed to donate his kidney could no longer donate. She was devastated. (do you blame her?) On Christmas day she got up and was having a hard time breathing, she called 911, and they took her to the hospital. A cat scan showed that she had 7 blood clots in her lungs. She was taken to LDS Hospital in Salt Lake, there she can receive dialysis, and treatment for her blood clots. Would you please pray for her? Please pray that there will be no more blood clots. Please pray that she will become healthy in 2010. Pray that she will live a long life. Please pray that someone steps forward to donate their kidney.

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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

There is no greater blessing than having you by my side along the way.

I know by now that our experiences...the good...and the bad make us the person we are. I do believe in God, and I am thankful that through him all things are possible. However, I do know that we have control over our life. We should never enable anything else..or anyone else for that matter to take control. Let us be rely on someone else shows weakness. The need for drugs and alcohol shows addiction. I get tired of seeing so many people who are unhappy with their life dwell within their sorrow. As if feeling sorry for yourself will magically make everyone cater to you. If you're not happy with your life, change it.

This is our one and only life. Life isn't something that should be taken for granted. When all is said and done, I don't want to be the person that felt sorry for myself my whole life. I don't want to be the person that was dependent on everyone and everything. I want to be the person, who strived to be her best. The person who helped others help them self. I want to be the person that can make you happy.

At the start of the new year, I think we should all strive to be better.

I am confident in myself, I can do this without you, but there is no greater blessing than having you by my side along the way. I am loyal, and I will never leave you behind. I am honest, hardworking, and I love you. All of you. This Christmas, remember those who have blessed you in the past, but never forget those who continue to bless you with their presence today. Be thankful for Jesus Christ, whom gave up his life for us.

Through him all things are possible.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you will never be alone. People, even more than things have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Never throw out anyone. [Audrey Hepburn]

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


This morning as I got ready for work my dad said, "Cole you spent too much money." I was confused and asked why. He continued to tell me that I spent too much money on Christmas presents. But I would have to say that I don't agree. How often do I have an excuse to often do I have an excuse to buy something nice for often can I truly spend money on something other than school and not feel completely guilty about it?
Christmas time...that's when!
The truth is, what is the point of having money if you're never going to spend it? Besides, I much rather spend it on someone else than myself. Anddddd, the whole reason I decided to work during Christmas break was so that I could make some Christmas money.
I know that someday I won't have the opportunity to buy gifts for the people I love. I am always seeing gifts that I would love to buy my mom, I just simply can't.
I make money to spend money.
And that's the way I like it.
And next week, when I have to pay my tuition, I will then tell myself, "Someday this will pay it's self off." But until then College remains as a endless black hole in my savings account.
Let's consider all this money I'm spending as a community service. Maybe I can boost the economy eh?

Friday, December 18, 2009

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Last night Jerry and I went Christmas shopping! Oh I love to shop, especially for other people! I can't wait to wrap up everything...even more I can't wait until everyone opens their gifts from me. :) I wish that I was rich so that I could give everyone something....everyone! I just think it would be so cool. But gifts isn't what Christmas is about, and I understand that. So along with everyone's Christmas gift, I want them to know that I love them, that I will always be there for them, and that I would do anything to make their life a little easier. I wish that I could take the load off everyone's shoulders...just for a day, that's the Christmas gift I really want to I think I will truely try. This new year I want to work toward helping others, if I could just let some one breathe easier for a one day, if I could just help someone relieve some stress, if I could help them improve their life overall...I want to do it!

I have really been wanting to volunteer at the soup kitchen in Ogden. And when I go back to school, I am going to! I have every Thursday off from school, so I think I am going to go there on those days. I just think it would be really rewarding.

Hmmm. Well.....

-Tomorrow I am *making* most of my Christmas presents. This will be the first time I have made the majority of the presents I am giving. I will post pictures after Christmas, I hope they all turn out!

-Katie and I are going to make Cookies on Sunday. I can't wait.

-Jerry and I are thinking about going ice skating Tomorrow night!!

-It's Friday!! Woo hoo!

-Only one week until Christmas!

For the spirit of Christmas fulfils the greatest hunger of mankind. ~Loring A. Schuler

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

There's no place like home.

It's been a while since I've posted.'s not because I don't have anything thing to post.'s not because nothing special has happened.'s not because I haven't had time.
It's just simply because I've had better things to do. :)
Let me catch you up.
*On December 9th Jerry and I celebrated 3 years together. That very same day we saw a reindeer (Yes, a real one...he was with Santa..duh), we took our last final (Thank Goodness!) and we headed home for a much needed month long break! Oh yeah!
*We have spent our break so far with everyone! We have played a little poker. We threw a surprise party for my very best friend Miss Katie. We made a ginger bread house with Maddie (what a huge mess). I've cuddled with my Stanley and Oliver B. and they are so very glad that I am home if I do say so myself. :) We went to Kobie's Christmas Choir concert. I had lunch with old friends...he worked on Taylor's car. And I have started working at the Court House for the next month so that I can earn some much needed Christmas cash.
*Most importantly, I've gotten to spend extra time with my sweet Dad, and Penny too!
*Andddddd Thursday, Jerry and I are going to Salt Lake for some Christmas shopping. Yay! Can't wait.
Miss Katie and I are going to make some cookies and deliver them to all our closest friends!!
Oh man! I love Christmas time!!
It just can't get any better than this!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

It's beginning to look a lot like Chistmas!

Friday Jerry and I went to Salt Lake to go to Modern Display before heading home. It is such a cool store!! They have the prettiest Christmas decorations and lights!! We bought some and then headed home. Once we got home, Jerry and I decorated my mom's grave. It turned out so pretty, but I would still like to get some solar powered lights to put up...we haven't been able to find any yet.

We ate dinner with Bart, Rani, Tayler and her boyfriend. Played a little poker and then we went to my cousins GED graduation. He was the Salvadorian, and we are very proud of him.
After the graduation we went back to Bart and Rani's for some more poker. I won one round and Rani won the rest!
My dad had asked me earlier that day to make something for the V.F.W bake sale that was going to be on Saturday. I didn't get home till around one in the morning and I began baking. I made way more than I had ever planned. I made Lemon Poppy Seed Muffins, Giant Honey CornBread Muffins and Jalapeno Corn Bread Muffins. I felt it was for a good cause, and I hope it helped them out some.
Saturday, my dad, Penny and I went up in the mountains to cut down a Christmas Tree. We walked FOREVER! Finally we found a giant beautiful tree. My dad wasted no time, and soon enough we were back at the truck and loading up the tree. We ate lunch together and then headed home to decorate!
My mom and I use to decorate the inside while my dad decorated the outside. Last year my friend Katie helped me decorate the was such a hard time for me, I think that Christmas just happened to be my rebellion against my mom's death. I decorated the tree with red lights, even though my mom and I had been decorating our tree with purple lights for the last ten years. I hated the tree last year.!
This year, I decorated the inside for the most part alone. I wanted to make it exactly the way my mom did. I put so many lights on the tree, I wanted it to be perfect. I hung all ornaments and put bows on the ends of the branches. I think it turned out so beautiful. But, it was hard! I cried while decorating the tree alone, because it use to be such a special time for my mom and I. Finally Jerry came over and helped me decorate everything else. I began putting all of our special Christmas decorations on to the mantle, and began hanging some stringed pine cones that my mom always had on the mantle. Somehow the pine cones pulled everything else off the mantle, and it all came crashing down. Glass flew everywhere, and I tried so hard to hold my tears in. Luckily only two things broke. But it killed me inside as my mom's precious decorations broke. One of the items was a mouse sitting in front a fire place that had a candle holder in the back, it shattered in a million pieces. I picked up all the pieces and put it back together in hopes that I could super glue it back together. The other was a Santa music box and it broke in three pieces and it will easily be glued back together. This morning my dad threw away all of the broken pieces to the mouse and the fireplace, he told me there is no way we could possibly glue all of the pieces back together. I was heart broken. Jerry was so sweet, and told me he would fix the Santa music box. Jerry also helped me by decorating the stairway railing. He spent a lot of time on it and it turned out very pretty.
Even Stanley was in the Christmas mood. He loved this tiny stocking
The railing, the tree and the mantle.
Pretty Tree and Mickey and Minne!
Today, my dad, Penny, Maddie (Penny's daughter), Jerry and I all ate a big breakfast and dinner together. I am so thankful to have them in my life. I couldn't possibly make it without them. We also put up some more decorations outside and it was a freezing five degrees!!! So cold!! This is the last week of school before Christmas break. I have two finals, and then I am home free! I can't wait. Wish me luck on my math and political science finals. I can't wait to be home with my dad and to celebrate Christmas with everyone who means so much to me! I will be working at the court house over the break, that'll be fun! I hope Christmas is showing up at your house. Tonight it is about 10 degrees in Ogden and the snow will be here soon! :)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Comical Relief During Finals Week!

What would I do without him?
Jerry Playing the Air Guitar and singing.

Monday, November 30, 2009


Whew, we are finally back from Oregon! My dad, my sister, Jerry, my uncle and three of my cousins began our trek to Oregon last Wednesday, and stayed there until yesterday. It was so much! I am so glad that we were all able to get together and catch up. Let me tell you about some of the memories we made.
First of all, we took lots of pictures. This lead to the hilarious discovery of Max's (my cousin's dog) obsession with the light from the camera. He would jump for the camera, plow his nose into the carpet and beg like a seal. He is so cute!! And I will post pictures soon of him!!
Next, my sister and I found out that we have the ability to make Thanksgiving dinner. With the help from our Aunt Kim and Aunt Sherida the dinner turned out so delicious!
We played Phase Ten a million times. And we even played a new game, was a lot of fun!
We looked at my Aunt Kim's scrapbooks to remind us of all our memories of the past. We all squished together in the living room to watch a movie. We ate turkey sandwiches, visited my grandparent's grave and loved every minute together.
The time for us to leave came quickly. Jerry and I are back at school and we only have a week and three days until Christmas break!!! Oh I can't wait! There is so much to do, including five test, 1 quiz and a few assignments! Ay ay ay! But I'll get through it! I can't wait until Christmas break, and this weekend we will be putting up our Christmas tree!!!! :) I've been looking forward to it since Halloween! No joke! I hope that you have found yourself as thankful as I have this Thanksgiving!! Pictures are soon to come!!!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Stressful Monday

Due to the shortened holiday week (which I am very thankful for), I have a ton of homework, including a ten page paper, 5 math assignments, 2 Excel assignments, and 2 articles to read. Ay ay ay eh? It'll be okay, because once everything is done we get to drive ten hours to Oregon to see my aunts, uncles and cousins for Thanksgiving!!! I am so excited to see them. I just love having everyone together for Thanksgiving. I love saying the prayer before the meal, where we all hold hands and thank God for everything. I just can't wait, I am so stinkin' excited!!

*In other news:
-It snowed a ton last night....and it took Jerry and I almost 2 hours to get to Ogden, which usually only takes an hour. It's so so pretty though.
- Jerry got his wisdom teeth pulled on Friday. He was quite comical, as he was drugged while I drove us back to Evanston.
-Penny, my dad, Jerry and I had prime rib for dinner last night, it was so good!!!

Well, that's it for now. Homework is calling my name, and I can't procrastinate much longer. :P

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thankful Thusday

Today in my Environmental Appreciation class we discussed, our environment and problems facing the situation such as, conflicting points of view, the government, religion...ect. But if we all just do the "right" thing, won't everything be okay? Won't everything turn out the way it is suppose to? The sad thing is, our view of the "right" thing differs. Some of us are never really taught to do the"right" thing. We don't realize our impact on our environment, the people around us and ourselves. Some of us don't see the power we truly have within ourselves, some don't see a problem and some of us are afraid of change. But, nevertheless, we are ruining the world we live in. There are a lot of things we could do to protect this sacred place. We could, use alternative fuel sources, solar panels, recycle more and protect places like tropical rain forests. The truth is, this has never been a major interest in my life. But I want to make the place I live a better place and even more I want to make sure that my kids, grand kids and great grand kids will be able to experience the earth as I have experienced. Today I am thankful for this beautiful earth that I live on. Without it, I simply wouldn't exist.
In relation, I believe we all have it within our selves to make a difference. I mean look at;
*Mother Teresa
*Martin Luther King Jr.
*My sweet momma.
*Lance Armstrong
*J.K Rowling
And so many more.
I think it is important to work towards what we believe in. I don't think it is necessary to "convert" someone to our way of thinking, but rather to influence people toward the common good. I am thankful for all those influential people in the world.

I am also thankful for the Lord today...and everyday. I am thankful for the morals I have made for my self, and those in which my parents instilled within me. I am thankful for the happiness that my parents have given me. I love them with all my heart.
In my favorite move, Legally Blonde, at the end, Elle Woods says, "It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world, remembering that first impressions are not always correct. You must always have faith in people. And most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself." I am so thankful that I have the faith within my self to fulfill my goals and the faith in others to help me get through my journey as I help those around me through theirs. :)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I miss you and I love you to Heaven and back.

One year, 365 days, 8760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 31,536,000 seconds without her. One year ago today my mom flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels. For her, this must be an exciting time. For us, it's a tough day.
I can't express how much I miss her. I can't tell you how badly I miss the phone calls and the little notes that she would leave me. I miss
her voice, her clothes, her smell and her sense of humor. I miss her encouraging words, but at the same time I can feel them all the same. I know she's been with me today, keeping me strong. There have been a few times today that I have wanted to cry, but I know that she is holding back the tears. It makes it easier, if that's even possible. I woke up several times last night, and just thought about things. I thought about the look on my dad's face as we met in the elevator one year ago today as he told me that my mom had died. I denied it, I kept wanting him to tell me that he was joking, really it was just a surprise visit. I thought about how hard it was for me to admit to people especially my best friend, Katie, that she was truly gone. I thought about how much I hated sitting in the funeral home picking out a casket. I had the most horrible head ache that day. Our amazing friends and family had all brought over of delicious food, none of it that I wanted to eat. There were so many people there that we don't normally see, and I had wished it was a celebration rather than the passing of my mo
m. But I guess, it was a celebration, she went to be with Jesus, eternally.
I can't believe that it has been a year, the time has passed so quickly. Experiencing everything without her like, Christmas, New Years, her birthday, my birthday, Easter, 4th of July, my parents anniversary and vacations was incredibly tough. I know that the Lord has gotten us through it. He makes some days go faster than others, so that we can simply make it through. I am ever so thankful to have God to lead me through my days, to make me strong and to be there for my dad and my sister when I cannot. But I know my mom better than most can claim, and I know this isn't what she would want me to write about on a day like today. This should be a celebration of her life. Let me tell you a little about this special momma of mine.
*She was the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Inside.and.out.
*Her smile was contagious.
*She was so wise and the gave the best advice.
*She would take anyone in. My best friend, my uncle, a
stranger off the street.
*She was so funny. She could have you peeing your pants from laughter, 2 minutes after bawling your eyes out.
*She could sing any song beautifully.
*She like watching LMN (Lifetime Movie Network), we called it Laura's Movie Network.
*She loved giving our cat Oliver B. massages.
*She loved to cuddle with Stanley.
*She loved the days my sister came to visit.
*She loved decorating for Christmas.
*She loved to ground me from Jerry so that we (my mom and I) could spend some time together.
*She loved having me do her hair and getting ba
ck massages.
*She like to tease my dad about his nose and ears. She would measure them with her fingers and tell him they were huge.
*She loved going on vacations.
*She liked to wear a shirt that matched my dress every time I went to a school dance.
*She loved to challenge people to find a song that she didn't know the words, lyrics and artist to.
*She loves me and I love her, and that's was simply matters most.
Celebrate today by cuddling with your kitty, kissing your mom, making delicious meal or listening to some 70's music. Because I know that if there are kitty's, ovens and 70's music in Heaven, my mom is doing that exact thing right now.

I am so very thankful to have my beautiful Guardian Angel in Heaven, I call her mom.

Keep my family in your prayers today. We'll make it through today, and eventually when it is our turn to meet Jesus and my sweet momma at the gates of Heaven we will rejoice. The longer the wait the better the reunion...right?

Monday, November 9, 2009


Riding in the car while Jerry drove. The sun was so bright, and I forgot sun glasses.
Last Tuesday Jerry, my dad, Taylor, Penny and I headed to Vegas for a HUGE car show. It's called SEMA and it is one of the largest car shows in America. There were so many cars there. We spent all day there Wednesday and Thursday. We saw so many cars! It was really pretty cool, and Jerry and Taylor especially enjoyed it. Personally I rather spend my time elsewhere. Nonetheless, it was an experience that not a lot of people can say they experienced, mostly because only a select few people are able to go. We were able to get tickets because Jerry is an automotive student and SEMA was offering the tickets to the auto students at Weber. Luckily we all sort of *snuck* in. :) While in Vegas we did a lot of other things, we celebrated Taylor's 18th birthday, we went to an oxygen bar, ate at nice restaurants, saw the Lions at the MGM, won a thousand tickets at an arcade, laughed really hard and got A LOT of free stuff. It was so much fun, and I am glad we went. I got to spend some extra time with my dad, and I got to get to know Penny better. On the way home my dad and Penny hit a deer. :( Hopefully she can get her car fixed soon....darn deer. The only down fall of the whole trip SO much homework. I'm getting a little nervous because we don't have much longer left in the semester, only about four weeks. :S But I know we'll be okay, I'll be okay. I always seem to pull it together at the last minute. :) Luckily!

The lion at the MGM. So so cute!

Grumpy Taylor.

HUGE truck!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I'm taking a class this semester called, Math for Elementary Teachers. So far I love it, and I can't wait to apply the things I learn from the class in my own classroom someday. Sadly, my teacher died at 7am this morning. It is such a sad, unexpected event. She came to class Monday morning with a sore throat and a hoarse voice. No one expected that anything was wrong. By Tuesday morning we were informed that our teacher, Diane, was in the hospital...with liquid in her lungs. One of her closest friend came in to teach us that day. She said that before our teacher was sedated she made her husband promise to call her friend so that we would have someone to teach our class. What an amazing lady. On Tuesday they gave her a 50/50 chance of living, as there was blood in her lungs, and each time they removed the blood it kept coming back. I thought about it all day. It kept coming to mind, well because, I admired her. I prayed all day. Even as Jerry drove me to class this morning I prayed for good news. When I got to class, everyone was on the verge of tears. The feeling of my mom's death all came back to me. I just can't believe how someone can be here one day and gone the next. Diane was very pretty, fashionable and incredibly smart. I love the way she taught things, she taught them in ways that kids can understand, not to mention she was fun. She was always saying, " I have to show you something. It's just so cool I can't stand it." Oh, how she is going to be missed.

Death never comes easy, please keep my teachers family in your prayers. Pray for her 3 daughters and 1 son and her many grand kids that she loved so dearly. She told us daily about her grand kids and the cute things they would do. She had the biggest heart, and just last week she was trying to give away kittens that she found abandoned in the house next to hers. She had been taking care of them for days.

Last week Diane and her friend Dixie (The lady who has been teaching my class for the last 2 days) won teacher of the year! You can read about it here:

I guess, all I can do is appreciate the fact that I got to know her during her time on earth. Better to have love and lost than to never to have loved at all sort of situation. I am ever so thankful for the things she has taught me, and in her memory I will teach math in the best way possible....her way.

Monday, October 26, 2009

What a day!

Today has been a good day for me,
not so much for my sister.

I woke up and went to class, with messy hair because I planned to get it colored and cut by one of my best friends Baillie later that day. And I did! She dyed it
a dark brown with a red tint and trimmed it. It really looks good and I like it a lot! Oh and she also waxed my eye more bushman eye brows! ;) After going to Wendy's and deciding not to eat the 30 day old re-cooked fries we went to the bank and then returned to our dorms. My dad called me and was very excited to tell me that I got into the teaching program! I was so so excited, and I felt as though we needed
to celebrate. Being poor college kids, we settled for some candy corn pumpkins as our celebration! A few minutes later, Jerry asked what I was doing, and I told him that I was telling anyone and everyone I know that I got into the teaching program! I was so excited!! Hard work DOES pay off....yes it does. I can see my mom celebrating in Heaven now. :)
As for my sister, her, what seemed to be perfect-husband boyfriend turned out to be much more of a dirt bag. He has been cheating on her since May, and neither of his "girl friends" knew. What a sad situation. I set out to make sure the guy wasn't a killer, although he wasn't a killer, he was an incredible liar. Oh if he only knew what he is missing out on. My sister is beautiful, confident, hard working and loving. She is compassionate and she would do anything for me. She is my big sister and she always will be. Although we have had a lot fights, over everything including who gets to sit in the front seat of the car, or what shirt my dad should wear to my mom's funeral, she is still my big sister. And I would do anything in my power to ensure she gets the very best out of every situation, every boyfriend, every moment. Someday when all is said and done, when she is married and happier than ever she will look back on this tough time and realize that everything happened for a reason, and without this stepping stone she would never reach the greener grass on the other side. :)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

A little taste of Halloween!

This weekend was a lot of fun and we got to spend a little bit of time with everyone. On Friday, I made dinner for, Jerry, his dad, Rani and my dad. We had chicken manicotti and it was sooo good! After dinner Jerry and I took some left overs to my uncle Curt, and then we played poker at Bart and Rani's house.
Jeff and Teresa before going to the Halloween Party!
On Saturday, Jerry and my dad worked on the sun room, they installed some wires for electricity. Hopefully the whole thing will be done by Christmas (cross your fingers :). We then ate Chinese food with Jerry's mom, step dad and brothers. After we had dinner we carved pumpkins! They turned out so cute! Jerry, of course, choose to carve the Honda logo, Kobie carved the Burton Brand symbol, I did a monster and Jeff, Teresa and Taylor did WYO for the University of Wyoming! They all looked so neat all lit up. Jeff and Teresa then went to a Halloween Party, and they looked so funny dressed up as Pimps!

All of them!
Jerry's Honda Pumpkin!

My Monster Pumpkin!
Today, my dad worked on the boat, and Jerry and I did our laundry. Then we went to Ogden a little early so that my dad and Penny could get some bricks at Home Depot, and we all ate at Chili's for dinner.

It was such a fun weekend! I am so blessed for all of our families.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Happy Birthday Tyanne!

Last night for my room mate's birthday we went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse. There were 12 of us, and it was a lot of fun. She even got to sit on the saddle, while everyone said "Yee Haw." Then when we got home she opened a present that Jerry and I got her. We got her 2 movies and some popcorn and candy. It was her golden birthday, which I had never heard of before. But it was golden because she turned 20 and her birthday is October 20th....golden eh? We all wore yellow shirts, and she wore a gold crown and gold beads. Happy Birthday Tyanne!

Saturday, October 17, 2009


On June 17, 1958 my mom was born.
On May 17, 1961 my dad was born.
On October 17, 1987 my parents were married.
And today, October 17, 2009 is the first anniversary in which my parents spent together...spiritually.
It was an incredibly tough day for both my dad and I. We tried so very hard to keep ourselves occupied. My dad, J.R (my dad's friend) and I drove to Ogden this morning and met my cousin Lynndsey for lunch. After lunch we went to the Weber State University homecoming game, in which Weber won 49-10 against Sacramento State! As we drove home, we stopped by Kelly's Roadhouse, a bar and grill owned by a friend of my parents. I sat in the car and talked to Jerry (he's hunting) while my dad and J.R went inside. Kelly (the owner) happened to be in the parking lot, he talked to me for a minute and before he left he said to tell my mom hi and to give her a hug. I agreed and rolled up the window. Ohhh how I wish more than anything in the world that I could give my sweet momma that hug. I just couldn't tell them that she was in Heaven. I just couldn't! After we left, we continued home while listening to 70's music, my mom's favorite. My dad leaned over and said, "You're mom's with us." I shook my head and agreed. And we both cried a little. I miss her a lot, so much, everyday.
I would like to wish my parents a very happy 22nd anniversary!

I couldn't possibly ask for any better parents.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Thankful Thursday

I am reminded everyday of the things that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for the classes that I have the opportunity to take. I am also thankful that I have the choice whether to go to class or not. Although most d
ays I go to all my classes, Jerry and I walked half way to the bus stop before deciding to skip our Environmental Appreciation class today. :P

I am thankful for the food that nourishes my body daily.

I am thankful for the drives that Jerry go on. We drive to places we've never been and look at big huge houses and find different businesses. It's very relaxing. :)

I am thankful for the rain, snow, wind, and sun that have made the weather very interesting lately.

I am thankful for my boys Stanley and Mr. Oliver B. , who can cheer me up any day. These boys get me through everything. Once when I was very mad at Jerry I told him that I would dump him for Stanley because Stanley is my best friend. :) I love Jerry, very much with all my heart, but these boys are a close second. :)
Oliver B, what a cute boy!!
Stanley in his Halloween Outfit, right after eating his dinner.

I am thankful for my dad, who makes sure I do my homework everyday.

And as always, I am thankful for my beautiful guardian angel in Heaven.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
-- Melody

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Today I'm....thougthful.

If only we could spend our days free of all awful things. We would never be sad, full of dread, disappointment or sadness.
But...if we never knew how it felt to be sad, could be truly be happy? If we didn't dread that scary interview, would we realize how important it is? Would we truly prepare ourselves to be our very best? If no one ever died, we wouldn't value life. We without a broken heart, we can never truly love. With out enemies we can't have a friend. Without tears there will be no laughter. With out night there can't be day. There has to be a balance between the good and the bad With out all evil things, would we truly know and seek God? It is necessary. It's all necessary. It's all perfect, this world was created perfect. If he brings you to it, he'll bring you through it. If your having a bad day, just remember it won't last and soon you'll be experiencing one of the happiest moments of your life. Everything is always better in the morning. And if you are having a good day, enjoy it!! Enjoy it now so that the happiness can get you through the next tough situation!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

A letter to heaven.

Dear mom,
I miss you so much. I miss calling you on the phone. Remember all of the things we use to talk about? Jerry, school, friends, politics...everything. You wouldn't believe all of the things that have changed since you've been in Heaven. Our house is never as clean as you kept it. Dad has put up a lot of pictures, and I know you would think it is too cluttered, but it's okay because they're all pictures of you. I try so hard to do things the way you did them. I've even learned how to cook (now I know why you hated making enchiladas)! I still put the decorations on the mantle, and I can never get it to look as good as you could. I have lots of plants now, and the plant that you gave me for my dorm last year is getting so big. I have a few others from your funeral. I forget to water them, they hardly get sun and they're still alive, I know you're keeping them alive.
You know what I miss the most mom? I miss having you at home. I HATE being home alone, and it has turned into one of my biggest fears. It's just not the same without you. I miss calling you after class, and I miss having someone care that I actually do my homework. I miss having someone tell me their proud of me when I do well on a test. I try so hard at school, just to keep busy and to make you proud. I miss the funny voices you would do, and the songs you would sing. So much music reminds me of you, and I can still see you dancing. I had the scariest interview the other day, and no one understood how scared I was, but I know you did. It's not really fair mom, it's not fair that your life only lasted 50 years. It's not fair at all!!! Today has been a hard day for me. It's one of those days, that I've been angry at the world because you're not here with me. And it's just not fair because so much as been thrown at me, and I just have to deal with it. Uncle Curt is living in his truck now. And I know that you're the only possible person that could help him, your the only person that has even been able to help him. We've all tried, but he won't listen. Please watch over him, it's getting so cold out.
Oh! And mom, dad is going crazy. Well not actually crazy. But I think he doesn't know what to do with himself. Watch over him too, mom. And mom, watch over me too. I hope you know how hard I try to make things okay. I try so hard to make you proud, and to take care of dad. But sometimes, like now, it's so so hard, and I can't do anything other than cry. And when I cry, I cry for hours. It's the hardest thing in the world. You know the night you went to Heaven? Well I didn't call you that night, like I said I would. And I regret that with all my heart, I hope you know how much I love you. And you know how the weekend before you asked me to go to that concert because dad couldn't go, and I said no? Well I still regret that too, I wish so badly that I would have gone. I am so sorry for all the times I wasn't a perfect daughter, and I am sorry for all the times I made you sad. I hope you realized then, how much I admired you, how much I wanted to be just like you. And I still do! Someday I hope I am half the person you were.

I miss you so much mom because you're the one person that accepted me. You accepted everyday. You're the only person in the world that can make me stop crying, and truly make everything okay. Like the time I didn't make the cheer squad, and the time I was betrayed by a friend. You were always there for me, unlike anyone else in the world. I wish you could be here for my wedding and for the day when I have my kids. I'm so sad that you won't be here to decorate my first house, or to help me through my first day of school as a teacher. I am devasted that you won't be here for my college graduation or my 21st birthday. I mean, I know you will be here, I just wish that you would be here to hug me, and tell me your proud of me. I wish you were here to teach me how to be just like you. I miss you mom!!!!!!! It's just not fair!!!!!!!!!

Well mom, I hope to see you in my dreams tonight, and I'll talk to you in my prayers soon. Thanks for being the most amazing person in my life, and the mom that every girl needs. I love you momma!

Love always,

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Thankful Thursday

It's a beautiful day to be thankful. :)
I am thankful that my interview is over, and went well. :)) It wasn't so bad after all.
--It's funny, as soon as it was over, I was so relieved. It seemed like fireworks should have gone off or something, just because I accomplished my interview. But nothing happened. Life just went on. :) And I am very grateful for that.

I am thankful that Winter only decided to show up for one day. I am not quite ready for full-fledged Winter quite yet. Although it is very pretty.
Snow on the last day of September. Still in the mountains.
I am thankful for the beautiful Asian people who do my nails. I haven't been in, in a while and today they asked about my sister, (who is actually just my best friend) and they asked how my mom was. I said she was doing good (I just didn't mention she is with Jesus, I didn't have the heart to do it. And the language barrier makes it difficult.)

I am thankful for Justine. She can bring a smile to my face, without even being around. We have the greatest memories together, they make me laugh just thinking about them.

I am thankful for my dad, who reminds me everyday how much he loves me.

I am thankful for the Lord who is helping my dad each and everyday. The distance between my dad and I is getting easier.

As always I am thankful for my one-of-a-kind guardian angel in heaven.

Isn't she beautiful? We hated this picture when it was first taken. I love it now. :)
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
-- Melody Beattie

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I'm so incredibly scared.

I'm on the verge of tears. I am so incredibly nervous to go to this interview. Oh I hope everything goes okay. I hope I don't screw it up. It's suppose to snow today, and it has already started in the mountains. I am just so petrified, scared out of my wits and shaky.

Here goes nothing.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Wednesday's the day!

The final step of the application process is tomorrow! Tomorrow it is!!! I will meet with 3 advisers for an interview. [[Does that sound like the scariest thing you could possibly think of??? I think so!!!]] I also have a 2 page paper due tomorrow that must explain my reasoning for choosing the education field, and any past teaching experiences I have encountered. I am so incredibly nervous. My stomach hurts just thinking about it. It's so so scary!!! My biggest fear is the chance that they will ask me something, and I will have no idea what to reply. :S Oh sheesh, wish me luck. If it's luck I need. Or...pray for me, yes do that. Pray my nerves don't get the best of me. I pray too, I pray that I can prove to these random three individuals in which I have never met, that I can be the teacher I want to be so badly. Whew, here goes nothing. What have I got to lose?
Dare to dream, dare to try, dare to fail, dare to succeed.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Thankful Thurday

As usual, you don't realize how lucky you truly are until you sit down and list the things you are thankful for.

This Thursday I am thankful for:

* My special dad. No one could ask for a better friend, hero, dad and advice giver. When ever I need someone to tell me I can do it--he's there!

* Rani, who has scheduled a wellness check up for me tomorrow. Although I am not looking forward to the appointment, and getting my blood drawn, I am thankful for the health care that I am able to receive and the health insurance that allows such health care to be affordable.

*And while talking about the subject, I am thankful that our government is working toward a socialized health care system. I can just imagine how excited my mom would be!! All my life she would tell me about socialized health care systems, she always believed that's what America needed.

*I am thankful for my beautiful sister, who texts me to tell me she loves me, even though she is very busy.

*I am thankful for a sweet lady who I met through blogger. She is a special lady with a big heart. It's amazing how people come into your life at just the right time.

*I am thankful for Jerry. What an amazing boyfriend he is. He meets me after class, walks me to other classes, helps me make dinner and even helps me clean up. :)

*I am thankful for all of you who pray for my dad and I. I know God is listening. :)

*And forever, I am thankful for my beautiful guardian angel in Heaven!

So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done.
-- Marian Wright

Sunday, September 20, 2009

All things considered...

As Jerry and I began our regular Sunday trek of 76 miles from Wyoming to Utah I noticed that he was very quiet. He wasn't talking and he wasn't singing, which is quite unusual for Jerry. So I asked him, "are you okay?" He replied, "yes." So I continued, "are you angry?" "No" "Are you sad?" "No" Finally I asked,"are you happy?" "Yes" he said. Just to keep the conversation going I asked, "Are you really happy?" He said, "no." I asked why, and he explained he was a little sad because he worked on his car today and it didn't turn out like he wanted. The quietness took over the car again and I began to think. What does it mean to be happy? How do we assess whether we are truly happy or not? Do we pull out a scale, placing the things we are happy about on one side, and the things we are unhappy about on the other? Once the scale finally balances, if the happy side hangs lower than the unhappy side we consider our selves happy? Of course none of us have scales, and we are unable to physically weigh our emotions and experiences. But happiness is important. Everyone wants to be happy. We work our whole live to make our self happy, or to make others happy. We go to college, to get a job that will make us happy. We fall in love because that special someone makes us happy. We buy the expensive car that we have always wanted. We wear trendy clothes and buy things we can't afford We watch comedies because they make us laugh. We do all of this in an attempt to make ourself happy. Is happiness really all that important?
Should the focus of our life be happiness? Should we spend the remainder of our lives searching for happiness? Or should our lives be spent helping others find happiness in their journey? The truth is I have no idea. I know that making other people happy, makes me happy. I feel that it is well worth it to improve someone's day with a laugh or a hug. I believe God has a plan for us, he puts people in our lives to make us happy, to make us appreciate the life we have been given and to help others find happiness. But I think there is more to life than finding material things that we believe will make us happy. There is something within us. A true happiness, that can not come from material things, jobs or even money. It is within the relationships and lessons learned where this true internal happiness lies. At this point in my life I feel that I have achieved this happiness within myself. Even when things go wrong, I know everything will be okay, it will be better in the morning and I always have that happiness inside of myself. I hope that you too, find yourself truly happy. I hope your scale is loaded with happiness and is spared all unhappy things. :)
Don't worry, be happy.

In other news: Other than the CAPP test that I had to take, this weekend was a good one. Rani and I decorated my mom's grave for Fall. It turned out so pretty. I know she likes it. :) I also decorated my house so that my dad could enjoy the decorations as well. :)

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
*Albert Camus

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Thankful Thursday

Today is a good day to be thankful. I have been a little grumpy, and 'complainy' this week. It is nice to think of the things that I am thankful for, to remind myself that I am a pretty lucky girl after all. :)

As always, I am thankful for my beautiful guardian angel in Heaven. I am thankful that she protects me everyday and helps me to make good decisions.

I am thankful today especially because while turning in my teaching application I didn't have to turn in my WWCC transcript which reveals the D's in which I regretfully have on my untransfered transcript.

I am thankful for the movie which will be played outside my room very soon. I have a perfect view from my bed. Stadium seating, complete with surround sound. Instead of sitting on the cold grass, we will be sitting on my warm bed. I am ever so thankful for this warm bed. :)

I am thankful for Shake and Bake, which made our dinner delicious tonight. :P

I am thankful for Facebook, which allows me to keep in touch with my friends that are spread all over Wyoming and Utah.

I am thankful for the beautiful mountains in my backyard. I have the most beautiful view from my dorm room. :) If I could build a house right here, and live here for the rest of my life, I most definitely would.

I am thankful that the oil field is picking back up, and my dad is getting more and more work everyday.

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
-- Oprah Winfrey

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

College field trip :)

Today for our Environmental Appreciation class, Jerry and I went on a field trip (yeah I know, I didn't know there were field trips in college either), with the people from our class as well as some others. We went up into the mountains and talked about all sorts of things. We stopped many places like, Rockport Dam, The Provo River, Bald Mountain and Lilly Lake. At each place one of the teachers would teach us something, one of them taught us about Algae, another taught us about having a wilderness experience, another one taught us about regaining power and one lady taught us about the Autumn leaves. There were other lessons, all of which were quite interesting. I am glad we went. I really wish there was someway that we could preserve nature as we know it. Sadly, our environment is being ruined. What a beautiful world we live in, let's protect it. :)

Lilly Lake
Jerry. :)
Bald Mountain
My teacher.

Clouds over Coalville early this morning.

He was very compassionate about Algae.

The Provo River.