Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I miss you and I love you to Heaven and back.

One year, 365 days, 8760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 31,536,000 seconds without her. One year ago today my mom flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels. For her, this must be an exciting time. For us, it's a tough day.
I can't express how much I miss her. I can't tell you how badly I miss the phone calls and the little notes that she would leave me. I miss
her voice, her clothes, her smell and her sense of humor. I miss her encouraging words, but at the same time I can feel them all the same. I know she's been with me today, keeping me strong. There have been a few times today that I have wanted to cry, but I know that she is holding back the tears. It makes it easier, if that's even possible. I woke up several times last night, and just thought about things. I thought about the look on my dad's face as we met in the elevator one year ago today as he told me that my mom had died. I denied it, I kept wanting him to tell me that he was joking, really it was just a surprise visit. I thought about how hard it was for me to admit to people especially my best friend, Katie, that she was truly gone. I thought about how much I hated sitting in the funeral home picking out a casket. I had the most horrible head ache that day. Our amazing friends and family had all brought over of delicious food, none of it that I wanted to eat. There were so many people there that we don't normally see, and I had wished it was a celebration rather than the passing of my mo
m. But I guess, it was a celebration, she went to be with Jesus, eternally.
I can't believe that it has been a year, the time has passed so quickly. Experiencing everything without her like, Christmas, New Years, her birthday, my birthday, Easter, 4th of July, my parents anniversary and vacations was incredibly tough. I know that the Lord has gotten us through it. He makes some days go faster than others, so that we can simply make it through. I am ever so thankful to have God to lead me through my days, to make me strong and to be there for my dad and my sister when I cannot. But I know my mom better than most can claim, and I know this isn't what she would want me to write about on a day like today. This should be a celebration of her life. Let me tell you a little about this special momma of mine.
*She was the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Inside.and.out.
*Her smile was contagious.
*She was so wise and the gave the best advice.
*She would take anyone in. My best friend, my uncle, a
stranger off the street.
*She was so funny. She could have you peeing your pants from laughter, 2 minutes after bawling your eyes out.
*She could sing any song beautifully.
*She like watching LMN (Lifetime Movie Network), we called it Laura's Movie Network.
*She loved giving our cat Oliver B. massages.
*She loved to cuddle with Stanley.
*She loved the days my sister came to visit.
*She loved decorating for Christmas.
*She loved to ground me from Jerry so that we (my mom and I) could spend some time together.
*She loved having me do her hair and getting ba
ck massages.
*She like to tease my dad about his nose and ears. She would measure them with her fingers and tell him they were huge.
*She loved going on vacations.
*She liked to wear a shirt that matched my dress every time I went to a school dance.
*She loved to challenge people to find a song that she didn't know the words, lyrics and artist to.
*She loves me and I love her, and that's was simply matters most.
Celebrate today by cuddling with your kitty, kissing your mom, making delicious meal or listening to some 70's music. Because I know that if there are kitty's, ovens and 70's music in Heaven, my mom is doing that exact thing right now.

I am so very thankful to have my beautiful Guardian Angel in Heaven, I call her mom.

Keep my family in your prayers today. We'll make it through today, and eventually when it is our turn to meet Jesus and my sweet momma at the gates of Heaven we will rejoice. The longer the wait the better the reunion...right?

1 comment:

  1. Your family has been through so much and I'm always keeping you in my prayers. Your mom was a beautiful person and now that beauty lives through you. What gift to give someone, she gave you all her beauty and obviously her love. God Bless you!