I'm taking a class this semester called, Math for Elementary Teachers. So far I love it, and I can't wait to apply the things I learn from the class in my own classroom someday. Sadly, my teacher died at 7am this morning. It is such a sad, unexpected event. She came to class Monday morning with a sore throat and a hoarse voice. No one expected that anything was wrong. By Tuesday morning we were informed that our teacher, Diane, was in the hospital...with liquid in her lungs. One of her closest friend came in to teach us that day. She said that before our teacher was sedated she made her husband promise to call her friend so that we would have someone to teach our class. What an amazing lady. On Tuesday they gave her a 50/50 chance of living, as there was blood in her lungs, and each time they removed the blood it kept coming back. I thought about it all day. It kept coming to mind, well because, I admired her. I prayed all day. Even as Jerry drove me to class this morning I prayed for good news. When I got to class, everyone was on the verge of tears. The feeling of my mom's death all came back to me. I just can't believe how someone can be here one day and gone the next. Diane was very pretty, fashionable and incredibly smart. I love the way she taught things, she taught them in ways that kids can understand, not to mention she was fun. She was always saying, " I have to show you something. It's just so cool I can't stand it." Oh, how she is going to be missed.

Death never comes easy, please keep my teachers family in your prayers. Pray for her 3 daughters and 1 son and her many grand kids that she loved so dearly. She told us daily about her grand kids and the cute things they would do. She had the biggest heart, and just last week she was trying to give away kittens that she found abandoned in the house next to hers. She had been taking care of them for days.

Last week Diane and her friend Dixie (The lady who has been teaching my class for the last 2 days) won teacher of the year! You can read about it here: http://www.standard.net/topics/weber-state-university/2009/10/26/two-wsu-math-professors-are-named-educators-year

I guess, all I can do is appreciate the fact that I got to know her during her time on earth. Better to have love and lost than to never to have loved at all sort of situation. I am ever so thankful for the things she has taught me, and in her memory I will teach math in the best way possible....her way.

What a day!

Today has been a good day for me,

not so much for my sister.

I woke up and went to class, with messy hair because I planned to get it colored and cut by one of my best friends Baillie later that day. And I did! She dyed it

a dark brown with a red tint and trimmed it. It really looks good and I like it a lot! Oh and she also waxed my eye brows....no more bushman eye brows! ;) After going to Wendy's and deciding not to eat the 30 day old re-cooked fries we went to the bank and then returned to our dorms. My dad called me and was very excited to tell me that I got into the teaching program! I was so so excited, and I felt as though we needed

to celebrate. Being poor college kids, we settled for some candy corn pumpkins as our celebration! A few minutes later, Jerry asked what I was doing, and I told him that I was telling anyone and everyone I know that I got into the teaching program! I was so excited!! Hard work DOES pay off....yes it does. I can see my mom celebrating in Heaven now. :)

As for my sister, her, what seemed to be perfect-husband material-all.in.one boyfriend turned out to be much more of a dirt bag. He has been cheating on her since May, and neither of his "girl friends" knew. What a sad situation. I set out to make sure the guy wasn't a killer, although he wasn't a killer, he was an incredible liar. Oh if he only knew what he is missing out on. My sister is beautiful, confident, hard working and loving. She is compassionate and she would do anything for me. She is my big sister and she always will be. Although we have had a lot fights, over everything including who gets to sit in the front seat of the car, or what shirt my dad should wear to my mom's funeral, she is still my big sister. And I would do anything in my power to ensure she gets the very best out of every situation, every boyfriend, every moment. Someday when all is said and done, when she is married and happier than ever she will look back on this tough time and realize that everything happened for a reason, and without this stepping stone she would never reach the greener grass on the other side. :)

A little taste of Halloween!

This weekend was a lot of fun and we got to spend a little bit of time with everyone. On Friday, I made dinner for, Jerry, his dad, Rani and my dad. We had chicken manicotti and it was sooo good! After dinner Jerry and I took some left overs to my uncle Curt, and then we played poker at Bart and Rani's house.

Jeff and Teresa before going to the Halloween Party!

On Saturday, Jerry and my dad worked on the sun room, they installed some wires for electricity. Hopefully the whole thing will be done by Christmas (cross your fingers :). We then ate Chinese food with Jerry's mom, step dad and brothers. After we had dinner we carved pumpkins! They turned out so cute! Jerry, of course, choose to carve the Honda logo, Kobie carved the Burton Brand symbol, I did a monster and Jeff, Teresa and Taylor did WYO for the University of Wyoming! They all looked so neat all lit up. Jeff and Teresa then went to a Halloween Party, and they looked so funny dressed up as Pimps!

All of them!

Jerry's Honda Pumpkin!

Go WYO!

My Monster Pumpkin!

Today, my dad worked on the boat, and Jerry and I did our laundry. Then we went to Ogden a little early so that my dad and Penny could get some bricks at Home Depot, and we all ate at Chili's for dinner.

It was such a fun weekend! I am so blessed for all of our families.

Happy Birthday Tyanne!

Last night for my room mate's birthday we went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse. There were 12 of us, and it was a lot of fun. She even got to sit on the saddle, while everyone said "Yee Haw." Then when we got home she opened a present that Jerry and I got her. We got her 2 movies and some popcorn and candy. It was her golden birthday, which I had never heard of before. But it was golden because she turned 20 and her birthday is October 20th....golden eh? We all wore yellow shirts, and she wore a gold crown and gold beads. Happy Birthday Tyanne!

17

On June 17, 1958 my mom was born.

On May 17, 1961 my dad was born.

On October 17, 1987 my parents were married.

And today, October 17, 2009 is the first anniversary in which my parents spent together...spiritually.

It was an incredibly tough day for both my dad and I. We tried so very hard to keep ourselves occupied. My dad, J.R (my dad's friend) and I drove to Ogden this morning and met my cousin Lynndsey for lunch. After lunch we went to the Weber State University homecoming game, in which Weber won 49-10 against Sacramento State! As we drove home, we stopped by Kelly's Roadhouse, a bar and grill owned by a friend of my parents. I sat in the car and talked to Jerry (he's hunting) while my dad and J.R went inside. Kelly (the owner) happened to be in the parking lot, he talked to me for a minute and before he left he said to tell my mom hi and to give her a hug. I agreed and rolled up the window. Ohhh how I wish more than anything in the world that I could give my sweet momma that hug. I just couldn't tell them that she was in Heaven. I just couldn't! After we left, we continued home while listening to 70's music, my mom's favorite. My dad leaned over and said, "You're mom's with us." I shook my head and agreed. And we both cried a little. I miss her a lot, so much, everyday.

I would like to wish my parents a very happy 22nd anniversary!

I couldn't possibly ask for any better parents.

Thankful Thursday

I am reminded everyday of the things that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for the classes that I have the opportunity to take. I am also thankful that I have the choice whether to go to class or not. Although most d

ays I go to all my classes, Jerry and I walked half way to the bus stop before deciding to skip our Environmental Appreciation class today. :P

I am thankful for the food that nourishes my body daily.

I am thankful for the drives that Jerry go on. We drive to places we've never been and look at big huge houses and find different businesses. It's very relaxing. :)

I am thankful for the rain, snow, wind, and sun that have made the weather very interesting lately.

I am thankful for my boys Stanley and Mr. Oliver B. , who can cheer me up any day. These boys get me through everything. Once when I was very mad at Jerry I told him that I would dump him for Stanley because Stanley is my best friend. :) I love Jerry, very much with all my heart, but these boys are a close second. :)

Oliver B, what a cute boy!!

Stanley in his Halloween Outfit, right after eating his dinner.

I am thankful for my dad, who makes sure I do my homework everyday.

And as always, I am thankful for my beautiful guardian angel in Heaven.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
-- Melody Beattie

Today I'm....thougthful.

If only we could spend our days free of all awful things. We would never be sad, full of dread, disappointment or sadness.

But...if we never knew how it felt to be sad, could be truly be happy? If we didn't dread that scary interview, would we realize how important it is? Would we truly prepare ourselves to be our very best? If no one ever died, we wouldn't value life. We without a broken heart, we can never truly love. With out enemies we can't have a friend. Without tears there will be no laughter. With out night there can't be day. There has to be a balance between the good and the bad With out all evil things, would we truly know and seek God? It is necessary. It's all necessary. It's all perfect, this world was created perfect. If he brings you to it, he'll bring you through it. If your having a bad day, just remember it won't last and soon you'll be experiencing one of the happiest moments of your life. Everything is always better in the morning. And if you are having a good day, enjoy it!! Enjoy it now so that the happiness can get you through the next tough situation!

A letter to heaven.

Dear mom,
I miss you so much. I miss calling you on the phone. Remember all of the things we use to talk about? Jerry, school, friends, politics...everything. You wouldn't believe all of the things that have changed since you've been in Heaven. Our house is never as clean as you kept it. Dad has put up a lot of pictures, and I know you would think it is too cluttered, but it's okay because they're all pictures of you. I try so hard to do things the way you did them. I've even learned how to cook (now I know why you hated making enchiladas)! I still put the decorations on the mantle, and I can never get it to look as good as you could. I have lots of plants now, and the plant that you gave me for my dorm last year is getting so big. I have a few others from your funeral. I forget to water them, they hardly get sun and they're still alive, I know you're keeping them alive.
You know what I miss the most mom? I miss having you at home. I HATE being home alone, and it has turned into one of my biggest fears. It's just not the same without you. I miss calling you after class, and I miss having someone care that I actually do my homework. I miss having someone tell me their proud of me when I do well on a test. I try so hard at school, just to keep busy and to make you proud. I miss the funny voices you would do, and the songs you would sing. So much music reminds me of you, and I can still see you dancing. I had the scariest interview the other day, and no one understood how scared I was, but I know you did. It's not really fair mom, it's not fair that your life only lasted 50 years. It's not fair at all!!! Today has been a hard day for me. It's one of those days, that I've been angry at the world because you're not here with me. And it's just not fair because so much as been thrown at me, and I just have to deal with it. Uncle Curt is living in his truck now. And I know that you're the only possible person that could help him, your the only person that has even been able to help him. We've all tried, but he won't listen. Please watch over him, it's getting so cold out.
Oh! And mom, dad is going crazy. Well not actually crazy. But I think he doesn't know what to do with himself. Watch over him too, mom. And mom, watch over me too. I hope you know how hard I try to make things okay. I try so hard to make you proud, and to take care of dad. But sometimes, like now, it's so so hard, and I can't do anything other than cry. And when I cry, I cry for hours. It's the hardest thing in the world. You know the night you went to Heaven? Well I didn't call you that night, like I said I would. And I regret that with all my heart, I hope you know how much I love you. And you know how the weekend before you asked me to go to that concert because dad couldn't go, and I said no? Well I still regret that too, I wish so badly that I would have gone. I am so sorry for all the times I wasn't a perfect daughter, and I am sorry for all the times I made you sad. I hope you realized then, how much I admired you, how much I wanted to be just like you. And I still do! Someday I hope I am half the person you were.

I miss you so much mom because you're the one person that accepted me. You accepted everyday. You're the only person in the world that can make me stop crying, and truly make everything okay. Like the time I didn't make the cheer squad, and the time I was betrayed by a friend. You were always there for me, unlike anyone else in the world. I wish you could be here for my wedding and for the day when I have my kids. I'm so sad that you won't be here to decorate my first house, or to help me through my first day of school as a teacher. I am devasted that you won't be here for my college graduation or my 21st birthday. I mean, I know you will be here, I just wish that you would be here to hug me, and tell me your proud of me. I wish you were here to teach me how to be just like you. I miss you mom!!!!!!! It's just not fair!!!!!!!!!

Well mom, I hope to see you in my dreams tonight, and I'll talk to you in my prayers soon. Thanks for being the most amazing person in my life, and the mom that every girl needs. I love you momma!

Love always,
Cole

Thankful Thursday

It's a beautiful day to be thankful. :)

I am thankful that my interview is over, and went well. :)) It wasn't so bad after all.

--It's funny, as soon as it was over, I was so relieved. It seemed like fireworks should have gone off or something, just because I accomplished my interview. But nothing happened. Life just went on. :) And I am very grateful for that.

I am thankful that Winter only decided to show up for one day. I am not quite ready for full-fledged Winter quite yet. Although it is very pretty.

Snow on the last day of September. Still in the mountains.

I am thankful for the beautiful Asian people who do my nails. I haven't been in, in a while and today they asked about my sister, (who is actually just my best friend) and they asked how my mom was. I said she was doing good (I just didn't mention she is with Jesus, I didn't have the heart to do it. And the language barrier makes it difficult.)

I am thankful for Justine. She can bring a smile to my face, without even being around. We have the greatest memories together, they make me laugh just thinking about them.

I am thankful for my dad, who reminds me everyday how much he loves me.

I am thankful for the Lord who is helping my dad each and everyday. The distance between my dad and I is getting easier.

As always I am thankful for my one-of-a-kind guardian angel in heaven.

Isn't she beautiful? We hated this picture when it was first taken. I love it now. :)

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
-- Melody Beattie