Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Smile Because She Lived

Sometimes it seems as if it were yesterday, when I think back to that elevator ride when my dad told me that my mom had passed away within the night.

It seems like yesterday when I had the huge lump in my throat, looking at caskets at the funeral home.

The funeral, viewing and rosary, seem only minutes ago.

But then I think back to the last day that I spent with my sweet mom, we got our nails done, went to the store, and made dinner together, it seems as if it were many years ago...much more than just two.

I think back to our last conversation, our last hug, our last 'I love you.'

We have so many memories together, many more than most mothers and daughters can claim.

I can remember lessons she taught me, I can remember gifts she gave me, and I can remember the never ending love, that I can still feel to this day.

There are so many times, that I just wish that my mom was with me. I just want to show her things, I want to have her help me with things, and I want her to see the things that I have achieved.

I want her to see me graduate college, get married and have kids. I want her to see Kimber grow up, though I know she will be with me through it all. I just wish she was here.

I miss her a lot, so much everyday! I talk to her, and I ask her for help. I just wish that I could call her up on the phone. Oh I can just imagine all the things I would tell her.

As my dad and I were at church on Sunday, it seemed as though Father Bueno was preaching directly to us, as the entire service was about life after death. At one point he read, "He is not God of the dead, for to him, everyone is living." And to me, my mom is still alive, she is just so much father away than the other side of the world.

Sometimes, I still resort back to the thoughts that this isn't real, and maybe she is just hiding, and or on vacation. Some days it's easier to feel sorry for my self and to think that life is just not fair.

But I know that all things happen for a reason. And If God brings you to it...He will bring you through it.

But at times, this journey is more than just making it through it. Sometimes it is about helping others, and letting others know that they are not alone. Sometimes losing a life is about more than just missing them, it is about their journey to heaven. I know that someday I will be reunited with me mom. And I can't wait for the day that I can hug her again. The day that she will make me laugh again.

Life is so short, and you never know when you might lose your best friend. If I can give you any advice today, tell your mom you love her, call you mom....right now. Visit as often as you can and make sure that they know just how much they mean to you.

"You can shed tears that she is gone,

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back

or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can remember her only that she is gone,

or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what she'd want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on."

-David Harkins

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Tuesday, November 2, 2010


I have been getting really excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas lately.

I even started listening to Christmas music today. =]

I have decided that this year for Christmas, I am going to make all of the gifts that I will be giving away.

I think that it will be fun, not to mention cheaper. Besides that, I think that the stuff I make, usually turns out better than things you can find in the stores, and because it's from the heart, it means more to the recipient.

I will try to keep you updated with the gifts as I make them. But some of them, I won't be able to share until after Christmas.

I already have some great ideas, I can't wait to get started. :)

We just need a little snow outside...I would love that!

Anddd Thanksgiving is only 3 weeks away, I have been looking up yummy recipes! =]

As I type this, Jerry is reading ridiculous ski patrol scenarios to me that he has made up. Oy Vey, where did I find him?

Happy November!

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