All things considered...

As Jerry and I began our regular Sunday trek of 76 miles from Wyoming to Utah I noticed that he was very quiet. He wasn't talking and he wasn't singing, which is quite unusual for Jerry. So I asked him, "are you okay?" He replied, "yes." So I continued, "are you angry?" "No" "Are you sad?" "No" Finally I asked,"are you happy?" "Yes" he said. Just to keep the conversation going I asked, "Are you really happy?" He said, "no." I asked why, and he explained he was a little sad because he worked on his car today and it didn't turn out like he wanted. The quietness took over the car again and I began to think. What does it mean to be happy? How do we assess whether we are truly happy or not? Do we pull out a scale, placing the things we are happy about on one side, and the things we are unhappy about on the other? Once the scale finally balances, if the happy side hangs lower than the unhappy side we consider our selves happy? Of course none of us have scales, and we are unable to physically weigh our emotions and experiences. But happiness is important. Everyone wants to be happy. We work our whole live to make our self happy, or to make others happy. We go to college, to get a job that will make us happy. We fall in love because that special someone makes us happy. We buy the expensive car that we have always wanted. We wear trendy clothes and buy things we can't afford We watch comedies because they make us laugh. We do all of this in an attempt to make ourself happy. Is happiness really all that important?

Should the focus of our life be happiness? Should we spend the remainder of our lives searching for happiness? Or should our lives be spent helping others find happiness in their journey? The truth is I have no idea. I know that making other people happy, makes me happy. I feel that it is well worth it to improve someone's day with a laugh or a hug. I believe God has a plan for us, he puts people in our lives to make us happy, to make us appreciate the life we have been given and to help others find happiness. But I think there is more to life than finding material things that we believe will make us happy. There is something within us. A true happiness, that can not come from material things, jobs or even money. It is within the relationships and lessons learned where this true internal happiness lies. At this point in my life I feel that I have achieved this happiness within myself. Even when things go wrong, I know everything will be okay, it will be better in the morning and I always have that happiness inside of myself. I hope that you too, find yourself truly happy. I hope your scale is loaded with happiness and is spared all unhappy things. :)

Don't worry, be happy.

In other news: Other than the CAPP test that I had to take, this weekend was a good one. Rani and I decorated my mom's grave for Fall. It turned out so pretty. I know she likes it. :) I also decorated my house so that my dad could enjoy the decorations as well. :)

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.

*Albert Camus