Because he's my dad.....

Well I know it's a day late, but it's never too late to brag about your dad. So let me tell you a little bit about my dad.

He has always pushed me to do my best. I remember times that I would bring home a report card with all A's and one A- and he would want to know why I didn't get an A in that class. But I always knew he was proud of me.

He has always worked so hard to make sure that I had everything!

He has been my best friend my entire life, and I know that he is always there for me.

He is my best advocate, and sticks up for me in every situation.

I remember one time when I was little I was taking a bath and I lathered my hair up with shampoo, and sticking it all to the top of my head so that it would look like I had short hair. I stood up to look in the mirror and I was so surprised to see just how much I looked like him.

My dad loves to tell me stories about his childhood.

He thinks that he is a pretty funny guy, and often laughs at his jokes when no one else is.

My dad is one of the smartest people I know. Whenever I have a question that no one else can answer, I know he will either know the answer, or make up a believable one.

When I was in Elementary school he would always get excited for the science fair, and [WE] would always get first place. :)

He loves me unconditionally, and I know that whenever I need him he will be there.

In so many ways my dad and I are alike. We don't like to talk to people on the phone, we don't like to be around big crowds of people we don't know, we love our family and we love each other.

My dad is my hero.

I love him!

June 17th

Happy Birthday mom. I wish you were here to celebrate. I would drive to Evanston, just to see you on your birthday. I would make you German chocolate cake, and Kimber would come to visit. I can see you dancing to Simply Red, that would be playing loud in the back ground. You would have shorts on, because it would be a hot day. You would be so happy because everyone you love would be there to visit. At work you would eat cake and dad would send you flowers. And you wouldn't even mind that you were turning 53 years old, because you never looked a day over 30.

You would hold Stanley and B, kissing them on their neck as they purr. You would laugh and smile at your beautiful grand daughter. And I would look at you, smiling, knowing that I am the luckiest girl in the world to have you as my mom.

But because you aren't here, physically, to celebrate your 53rd birthday, we will celebrate your life, and the legend you left behind. We will spend the weekend, camping in "Winnie" our old motor home, and hanging out on "The Woman," our boat that we named after you. Not a minute will go by that we won't watch for you in the sky, and we will tell stories of your life. But most of all, we will be happy, because I know that more than anything, you would want us to be happy, especially on your birthday.

Never a day goes by that we don't think of you. You are a precious piece of our hearts and always will be. I love you mom, and I miss you more than words can tell. I can't wait to see you again someday.

Happy Birthday Momma!

I love you.

Cole

My job and my career.

I can't say that I love everything about my current job.

I wouldn't even say that the job I have now is something that I would enjoy doing for the rest of my life.

There are moments when I would rather flip burgers at Mc Donalds. And there are moments when I question my future career that I have spent 3 years so far preparing for.

There are several times EVERY day that I shake my head in disbelief. And there are times that I want to give up and walk away.

Certain situations put me right back in my childhood, others make me wish I was still there.

Patience and smiles have to be plentiful all.day.long. And not a day goes by that I don't tie shoes, wipe noses or kiss boo boos.

I get home from work, to tell Jerry about the kids, the funny things they say, the fights they get in to, the questions that they ask.

"Why is my shadow following me? And why is it black?"

There are times when, "Miss Nicole" is the last thing I want to hear.

But never a day goes by that there isn't a moment that makes me think ((that's why I want to work with kids.))

I smile all day long. I laugh all day long. I get drawings and hugs all day long.

Every day that I am at the daycare, especially the days that I work with the school age kids, I learn more and more. I learn what to do, and even more, I learn what not to do.

Everyday I spend 8 hours with kids that I won't know in 2 years, but to know that I had a part in their life means everything to me.

Who knew a minimum wage job would be worth so much more?

We Build Our Life

We are born, and from that point forward, we live to survive. Everything we do, is to stay alive. we help others, stay alive. We raise children, and keep them alive.

Yet there is more to this life other than living, other than keep our self alive, there is more than keeping our body healthy. And maybe it is because as humans, we are intelligent enough to feel love, to work hard, to create relationships, to have faith, to believe and to remember. We aren't a bug in the wind hoping to miss the next windshield on the interstate, if only bugs spend time to hope at all.

We remember our past, think of our future, work hard to create something out of this life....something worth remembering, worth looking forward to.

We spend countless hours living a life that may be minimal compared to what lies ahead of us after we die. If we spend eternity in heaven, our time in this place is minuscule.

Yet we spend so much time preparing for what is a 'perfect life' and what makes us happy.

And too often, we work for what is easy, for the things that makes us feel at ease. We try everyday to forget the things that make our heart hurt. We store in the back of our mind natural disasters on the other side of the world, lies that we should have never told, forgotten friends, loss of family, loss of faith and loss of self.

We spend so much of our time trying to make our self happy, but happiness is no more than the chance to live another day. The opportunity, as intelligent human beings, to love those who support us, stand by us.

Happiness is having someone by your side, keeping you alive. Someone who cares enough to see to it that you eat, that you sleep, that you wake up every morning to live another day. Happiness is living.

Summer is Here!

My summer break started over a week ago, and I have been loving it.

I have only been working 3 hours a day, so I have had a lot of free time. Free time in which I have, cleaned, scrapbooked, spent ridiculous amounts of time on Facebook, and looked for a new job.

I really love my job, and I love all those kids more than anything. But I am worried that they aren't going to need me to work full-time. Working part-time is great, but man I get bored....not to mention I could really use more money. I have been applying everywhere, hopefully something will come through.

On Thursday, my sister will be heading to Vegas, leaving The Princessa, with Jerry and I for 5 days. We are going to have a lot fun. And I hope that this is only the first of many trips she will make to spend a couple days with Aunt Coco.

Well, this is quite a boring post, as I have nothing good to blog about, so I will leave it at that.

Don't forget, Sunday is Mother's day! Kiss your momma for me!

One More Time: Just in Case

Since the day that I took my last final, my mom has been on my mind.

School has had me so caught up-

--caught up in my future

--caught up in my grades

--caught up procrastination.

I didn't have time to think about my mom, or the fact that I missed her more than I could ever imagine.

Last Thursday, I took my last final, I put my books away, and I listened to music that made me cry, because I missed my mom.

My aunts (my mom's sisters) were in town for my cousins graduation. Jerry and I spent time with them. And the next day, my dad, Penny, Jessica and Kimber joined us. My mom would have loved the opportunity to see everyone. And I know that she would be so proud of Lynndsey, one of few family members to graduate from college.

Well, I went to bed that night, happy....

happy to see my family,

happy to kiss my princessa,

happy to spend as much time as possible with family I hardly get to see.

But I missed my mom, and I missed her more than I have for a long, long time.

And it's a little weird, because Friday morning, Jerry sent me a text that said, "You should listen to the song, 'If Heaven Wasn't so Far Away.'

I told him that I had heard the song, and that I like it.

That night before we went to bed, I told him that I listened to the song, and it made cry. I told him I missed my mom. He understood, like he always does, and he gave me a hug...like he always does. He just knows me so well.

I enjoyed the weekend, loving my family, doing a little shopping and celebrating Lynndsey's graduation.

On Sunday, a FB friend put a link for this blog, http://www.mattlogelin.com....and I have been reading, and reading and reading blog posts that were posted over 2 years ago, in 2008 (the year that my mom died).

I recommend the blog to anyone.....everyone.

To make a long story short, the blog is written by a man who lost his wife only 27 hours after his daughter was born.

It has really made me think.

We don't have forever in this world. We don't always have another change to say 'I love you' or another chance to give a hug to those who we love most.

So, every night I have been hugging Jerry a little tighter, and one extra time, just in case.

I always make Jerry give me 3 kisses before we go to sleep, but lately it has been 6.

And I have even been telling everyone on my Facebook 'Happy Birthday'.

I just want to make sure, that when it comes down to my last day on this earth, my last day with my family, my last chance, that I won't leave one regret behind me.

There is just so much more to this life than having it all, there more to it than having more money than your neighbor, there is more to it than reality TV.

I'm going to give more hugs and kisses, just in case.

I'm going to say "I love you" more often, just in case.

I'm going to pray more often.

I'm going to do the things that make me happy, just because it makes me happy.

And I'm going to remember my mom, each and every day.

Back to Blogging

Well, I'm afraid to admit, I may never finish the 30 day photo challenge. It requires a lot of energy and commitment, how pathetic am I?

Well, nonetheless, tomorrow is the first day of finals week. I have been finding every excuse not to study. I have made peanut butter cookies, redesigned my blog, made banana bread, took a nap, convinced my self that I didn't need to study because I have all week, and finally now, I am writing a new blog post. I may regret that decision later this week, but for now, it seems to be okay. :)

I am looking forward to the upcoming days, weeks and months. My aunts and cousins will be here this week, for my cousin's graduation, and I can't wait to see them. I will be one semester closer to the end of the semester by Friday. And I look forward to all that summer will bring.

I hope that as the semester ends, I will have the opportunity to relax more, and hopefully that means that I will blog more. :)

Happy Sunday night my friends!

Jerry and I are watching the Wizard of Oz. :)