Tuesday, April 26, 2011

One More Time: Just in Case

Since the day that I took my last final, my mom has been on my mind.

School has had me so caught up-

--caught up in my future

--caught up in my grades

--caught up procrastination.

I didn't have time to think about my mom, or the fact that I missed her more than I could ever imagine.

Last Thursday, I took my last final, I put my books away, and I listened to music that made me cry, because I missed my mom.

My aunts (my mom's sisters) were in town for my cousins graduation. Jerry and I spent time with them. And the next day, my dad, Penny, Jessica and Kimber joined us. My mom would have loved the opportunity to see everyone. And I know that she would be so proud of Lynndsey, one of few family members to graduate from college.

Well, I went to bed that night, happy....

happy to see my family,

happy to kiss my princessa,

happy to spend as much time as possible with family I hardly get to see.

But I missed my mom, and I missed her more than I have for a long, long time.

And it's a little weird, because Friday morning, Jerry sent me a text that said, "You should listen to the song, 'If Heaven Wasn't so Far Away.'

I told him that I had heard the song, and that I like it.

That night before we went to bed, I told him that I listened to the song, and it made cry. I told him I missed my mom. He understood, like he always does, and he gave me a hug...like he always does. He just knows me so well.

I enjoyed the weekend, loving my family, doing a little shopping and celebrating Lynndsey's graduation.

On Sunday, a FB friend put a link for this blog, http://www.mattlogelin.com....and I have been reading, and reading and reading blog posts that were posted over 2 years ago, in 2008 (the year that my mom died).

I recommend the blog to anyone.....everyone.

To make a long story short, the blog is written by a man who lost his wife only 27 hours after his daughter was born.

It has really made me think.

We don't have forever in this world. We don't always have another change to say 'I love you' or another chance to give a hug to those who we love most.

So, every night I have been hugging Jerry a little tighter, and one extra time, just in case.

I always make Jerry give me 3 kisses before we go to sleep, but lately it has been 6.

And I have even been telling everyone on my Facebook 'Happy Birthday'.

I just want to make sure, that when it comes down to my last day on this earth, my last day with my family, my last chance, that I won't leave one regret behind me.

There is just so much more to this life than having it all, there more to it than having more money than your neighbor, there is more to it than reality TV.

I'm going to give more hugs and kisses, just in case.

I'm going to say "I love you" more often, just in case.

I'm going to pray more often.

I'm going to do the things that make me happy, just because it makes me happy.

And I'm going to remember my mom, each and every day.


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2 comments:

  1. Nicole, I love this, is as amazing as you are. I am sure that your mom is very proud of you and the wonderful daughter,aunt,sister and friend you are and have been. Love ya vicki

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  2. Hey Colie, This blog is amazing. It made me tear up. Laura would of been so proud of the woman you are today. We all think about you and your family everyday down here in TX. Love and miss ya girl!
    xoxo-Jillian

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