Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Happy Birthday Momma!

Today would have been and I guess still is my mom's 51st birthday! The first birthday without her. :( I could tell it was especially hard on my dad as I could hear him crying for his bedroom this morning. I miss her so much and I still find it hard to believe that she isn't still alive. I talk to her and visit her grave everyday. I know she is there. But I don't really accept it yet. I still get mad and very sad that she is gone. It isn't fair that she only got spend 50 years on earth. It isn't fair that I only got to spend 19 1/2 years with her. Not fair at all! Everyday I think about her. I think about what it must of been like the day she died. Did she know she was dying? Was she okay with it? Are people sad in Heaven? Does she watch over my dad, Jessica and I and see us crying? I hope she isn't sad in Heaven.
I am working at the same office my mom worked at. No one here has said anything to me about her birthday. I don't know if they don't want to upset me or they just forgot. Today is a day that should be celebrated. Ugh. It's hard to sit here and think about all the reasons I miss her.
Let it be a happy day. We should celebrate her life.
Well I hope it is a happy day in heaven, after all it is her first birthday with Jesus.

Happy Birthday Momma! I miss you!I took this picture while visiting her grave one day. I know she was there. :)

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